Love court (part III)

If you haven’t already please read Love court part I  (http://sosaidhe.wordpress.com/2009/12/30/love-court-act-1/) and II (http://sosaidhe.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/love-court-recess/) beforehand

After having a hotdog and frank discussion with myself I was back in the courthouse hall
Thinking of a speech to amicably bring peace to what had turned into an all out war
I had already plead not guilty but my conscience now felt differently
Do i continue to deny, deny, deny
Or do i come clean with the dirt of how I’d flirt with every skirt that was pretty enough to catch my eye
the bailiff then appeared holding the courtroom door with one hand, the other held the catcher in the rye
Stating “the judge will be ready to continue in a few, so you need to make your way back inside”
She glanced up and down the corridor as if someone was calling her as i made my lonely trek down the aisle
With my tail between my legses, wishing I could turn Jess’… frown upside down to a smile
When i looked to the right, she was nowhere in sight, her lawyer anxiously kept looking around
She stopped the bailiff and explained that she tried everything, but her client was nowhere to be found
She said “I waited for her outside, called her cell about four times, and checked the bathroom… every single stall.
I dont know where she could be, why shes not here or why she wouldnt at least return my calls.”
Then the doors flew open, Jessica fully focused, reached in her bag as she walked towards me
A gun appeared, the same hand that held it wiped away a tear, as she screamed that she had something for me
She then pointed the gun at me and said “you’re gonna pay, you’re gonna die today motherfucker”
everyone in the court ran away as they tried to find… something to hide behind or duck under
She kissed my forehead and placed the gun to my temple, next thing i knew i hit the floor
Startled and confused, in a room full of darkness I stood up and walked into a door
“Baby are you okay?” came a voice from behind me. I rubbed my head trying to see through the darkness
I found the light switch on the wall, still didnt know who this chick was at all, but realized i was in my apartment
I tried to remember the girls name in my bed, but could only think about the pain in my head “uhhhh… you gotta go”
She was flabergasted, and responded “fuck you, you bastard. You cant treat me like this. Im not a ho.”
I hid in the bathroom as she got dressed, and came out when i heard my door slam
That dream was so vivid, it seemed so real. I thought i was dead for sure man
I decided to lay back in my bed and get some sleep, and call Jess when I awake in the morning

Love court (recess)

Please refer to Love Court (part 1), if you haven’t already read it.

So when we went to recess
I begin to regret the way that I treated Jess
And all of the drama that I put her through
As I say in the park
and ate my frank from the cart
I asked myself how I would feel if I were in her shoes
Finally admitting to myself I was wrong
I started taking pity on myself
Because what could’ve been so right is now gone
I’m going back into this courtroom looking through different eyes
As if I’m a different guy
Wishing I… Didn’t cheat… Didn’t lie
Why didn’t I, didn’t I

Passionately destined to be

Its a pitiful tragedy if you live passion-free
Without a cause to live for you’re a casualty
A bystander standing by casually
Never making it happen, just watching it happening

Youre a star, you need to reach for the sky
Let your light shine upon the world before you die
Dont let anyone stop you, especially me, myself or I
haters of course, negative thoughts or short sight

We’re meant to be creators, in His likeness he has made us
So look inside and get to know the God within
Create a poem, a song, a dress or a thong, not creating is wrong, its the forgotten sin
You’ll never know where you’ll end up if you do not begin

Fulfillment you’ll be filled with, when you write, draw or build it
Or whatever it is you love to do and are exceptionally skilled at

whatever you do, dont let money cloud your view
Create for the love of it, make it do what it do

Let the blessings unravel, take the road less traveled, as a matter of fact, you should just pave your own

So the dash in between the years will be more defined, more than just a line, when they engrave your stone

Lhegend

Performance

A recent performance
youtube.com/#/watch?v=3WE-H6zg3js

Long distance

I’m hurting inside, but I’m a man so I try to pretend that I don’t care

But I’m betrayed by the evidence of dried tracks… leading to my ear

From laying in bed crying looking up at the ceiling… full of despair

Wondering where you are, and wishing where you were… was here

I feel like I’m suffocating… I can’t breathe… You were my air

Continuing life sans you… I can’t do… I fear

But I have to… get passed you because you don’t care

and probably… haven’t even shed one tear

We resisted the pessimistic

and took a chance on the distance

believing it would strengthen our love

But I feel like I’m over here trying,

and you’re over there thinking

“what the fuck were we thinking of?”

I feel like I was left stranded on an island, yet we were on that ship together

the sun was shining and you went and bolted at the first sign of inclement weather

I used to dedicate that song by neyo and fab, I was good but I thought you made me better

But it’s obvious you feel otherwise, and you’re probably seeing other guys so I have to end it with this letter

 

Dear Joan,

it seems we’ve reached the end of our road, I guess since we were miles apart

Please hear me clearly, I loved you dearly, but I had to follow my heart

it’ll be hard to get pass, what I thought we’d make last, I guess “they” were right all along

It’s best we end this now and cut our losses while they’re short,

because resentment could set in before long

Enjoy your life, and believe me, there’s no need to call… anymore

it’s not like you said much, but now you don’t have to say anything… Anymore.

Lhegend

Dangling by a thread of faith

Even though life blows
Lord knows
I try to walk the straight and narrow

I’ve been taught that’s the way to go
My last meal was two days ago
It was discarded chicken
Of which I even ate the marrow

My stomach is rumbling
My faith is tumbling
This freezing cold is extremity numbing
And the guy who just left the bank folding a wad of bills said he doesn’t have a hundred pennies to spare

Now I could take this knife that I carry for protection
And put it to his neck and demand his possessions
But what’s mine is mine and although living on these streets is tough, jail and bad karma are the two things I fear

Lord I’m trying
And I know all in due time
But could you at least send me a sign

I’ve tried all angles to get off these streets
But I’m only met by loss and defeat
I’m so close to turning to crime

The shelters are usually worse than the streets
Right off your feet they’ll steal your shoes
I’m treated with disrespect by the police
God, I’ve been homeless for long enough, haven’t I paid my dues

How long will my skies be grey, how long will I sing the blues?

Religious rant

Its 77, welcome a lhegend, straight from the heavens above
Rich in worth, given birth to this earth to teach these mortals lessons in love
But first he needed to learn that he need not earn yet only love himself
Love is within us, begins and ends us, heals and mends us. Love is wealth
We were made in his likeness, courageous and righteous, holy and pure
Yet we’re taught that when life begins we already have sins… That’s surely bull manure
How can one, just born, be just wrong when all that he has done is take a breath
And then you tell me that Jesus died for my sins… How about he was a man very in touch with God and brave in the face of death
Then I’m told how, I must bow, so in heaven I’ll be allowed
Please… My heaven is here and now
Hell is in your state of mind, not a state of mine, a place that religious fakers find
Its the repercussion of your deceit and lies
Stop, pause, play, rewind
Heaven is where I reside, sitting on God’s side
You too have a place here, where truth allows you to displace fear,
you only need to look in your soul, and you’ll see God has a place there.
He is a part of us, lives in the heart of us as well as the soul
She is my milk and cereal, soup and bread…. He fills my bowl
She is love…       

My wounds are still fresh

My wounds are still fresh
Although there are no scars upon my flesh
Means not that I hurt less

I thought she was my everything
All the while she gave me nothing
Whilst I gave her my best

Her betrayal was hard to swallow
And now food is hard to digest
My heart now beats slower behind my chest

Here I was thinking our relationship was righteous
Just to find out that it wasn’t even good
Muchless a success

I used to bare my soul as if from my skin I would undress
When we parted I cried for days I was such a mess

Her lackluster attempt at love leaves me thinking in love I’m luckless
To the point I want to throw up my hands to love saying fuck this

No longer will you put your blindfold upon my eyes
No longer will you get my soul in exchange for lies
No longer can we be friends im severing our ties

You may consider us enemies, and this here as our goodbyes

Deception

We hid our feelings under the disguise and lies of being just friends

Then lust bubbled over, we said it would be just the once but there were many agains

We had a favorite hotel, they knew us at the reception

We would make love in the mirror, we were turned on by our reflection

While our families were at home, the victims of our deception

We met at an event that I was performing at

My wife was in her second trimester so I was a horny cat

She was the lawyer for the gentleman who requested my performance at this event

She said she could get me booked for more gigs, and with one on the way, I sure did need it

We had dinner a few times, she commented on my shoe size, it was all downhill from there

We started staying out later and later under the guise of working, this carried on for a year

I wasn’t even paying attention to what was going on at home

And how much my newborn baby had grown

Wait… This child is way too light to be my own

Damn, I wasn’t the only one creeping, sleeping and humping around. Fuck… I gotta leave

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we try to deceive

Choices

When you have nothing to gain
Yet something to lose
For standing up for what’s right
What shall you choose
When friends distance themselves
because they disapprove
With their thumbs pointed down
And their mouths spewing boos
Because they wouldn’t do the same
If they were in your shoes
Will you follow common laws
Or your own moral rules

What pray tell will you do?

This poem was inspired by http://lhegendspov.wordpress.com/2009/07/29/going-against-the-man-code/